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I know I’m not the only one. I know that many before me have been fascinated by the mythical beast that is the Japanese toilet. But it wasn’t until I visited Japan myself that I was ingratiated into a new world altogether—a world of heated toilets, automatic toilets. In fact, any toilet you care to name, really!

When I arrived in Kyoto, I stayed in a very cheap backpackers’ hostel. The amenities were generally quite basic—the beds simple army-style bunks, and everything else was purely functional. Everything else, it seemed, but the toilet. I have to say, that I was not expecting to be accosted by a toilet containing an automatic sensor that made it squirt water every time everyone came near it. Nor did I expect it to have an automatic seat-warmer. And I certainly didn’t think that it would have a tiny basin in the top where I could wash my hands!

However, as I traveled, things only became more and more curious. Each place I stayed in, no matter how cheap and rundown, had some sort of curious toilet that seemed to have more computing power than my laptop. Even the train stations had sophisticated toilets—so long as you avoided the squat toilets, that is. I had no idea that a toilet could contain its own air freshener, or that the button I thought was the flush was actually supposed to merely make a sound like a flush so that people could do their business in a discreet manner.

I suppose all of this is only to be expected in a country where whole novels have been printed on toilet paper—and why not, given the superb luxury of the Japanese toilet? But still, I did find myself caught between feelings of curiosity and trepidation every time I had to seek out a bathroom. What new things would I find? Would I be bested by a toilet that had a greater intellect than I did?

Well, a visit to the Panasonic showroom did little to put my fears at ease. The showroom contained a section devoted to green leaving, and I’m sure you can guess what took pride of place. Yes, an environmentally friendly toilet. This toilet, apparently, only begins to heat the seat a mere moment or two before you sit down, and it can sense the sort of flush required after use. With these sorts of technological advances, it’s no wonder that people fear that humankind will eventually be taken over by technology!

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